Ruined (The Seraphim Series Book 1) Read online

  “What are you trying to tell me?” she asked directly. She didn’t like the suspense he was building. She never liked surprises.

  “We're different,” he carried on, still not just coming out and saying it. “We're not mortal.”

  Lilliah looked up, her brows pulled close together. Not mortal? “As in not human?” she clarified, her voice almost breaking on the last word. A silence spread out between them as Lilliah stared deeply into Azrael’s eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.

  “No.” he shook his head. “We’re the Fallen.” He spoke the words, his eyes burning deep into hers. “Fallen angels.”

  “Angels?” she repeated the last word disbelievingly, a laugh building in her chest. “Angels?” she said again, unable to stop the giggle.

  “Yes, angels,” he repeated a little more sternly. Taking her smaller hand in his once again, Azrael led her to another painting, but she wasn’t looking at it. All her attention was focused on him. Is he kidding? Has all of this been a sick joke?

  “Thousands of years ago, Heaven broke into a civil war. Lucifer didn’t want to be controlled anymore; he wanted his free will and every other angel to have free will also. The archangels didn’t agree.”

  “Angels don’t have free will?” Lilliah asked, dazed, trying to take in what he was saying and trying to understand it. His face was very serious. If this is all a joke, he’s very good at it.

  “No. They’re given orders that they have to follow.” A sad smile tugged at his lips. “When the war began, everyone had to pick a side. There was no staying neutral. Not in the archangels’ eyes anyway.” He frowned. “And Lucifer was so charismatic. He gave us so much hope.”

  “Ironic.” Lilliah tried to smile but couldn’t. Azrael turned to look at her, his face expressionless. “So you picked Lucifer?” She ran her hands through her hair, unsure of what else to say to him. She wasn't an angel; it was impossible.

  “Yes,” he admitted, leading her towards a sofa so they could both sit down. “I was a soldier. A warrior designed for one purpose: to protect Heaven. But in the war, I led Lucifer’s army. I fought against Heaven.”

  “Heaven.” She thought for a moment, deciding to play along. “So God is real then?”

  “God, Zeus, Muhammad. They are all one and the same. The same story told in many different ways, many different times. I guess it’s just how humans perceive the messages sent down from the Creator.”

  “The Creator?”

  “Yes. The light that made everything. The one you call God.”

  “So you’ve met him? It’s a him? What’s he like?” Lilliah smiled as she spoke, but Azrael was completely straight faced and serious.

  “No one has met the Creator. Not even the highest of archangels. We’re just like humans in that respect. We need to have faith.”

  A little twinge of doubt started to form at the bottom of her stomach. “Right.” She took in a deep breath, for the first time trying to really imagine what he was telling her. “This is crazy.” She shook her head before turning back to him, her knee bouncing with energy. “So if all of this was real, who was I? In Heaven and in the war?”

  “You didn’t fight,” he replied softly, moving to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear.

  Lilliah stared at him for a moment, a little shocked by the intimate gesture. She spoke after a second of silence. “But you said people had to fight, that they didn’t have a choice?”

  “The archangels made their own rules. And you were Michael’s favourite daughter. So because of that, you were locked away from the war. You were locked away from everything.”

  “Michael?” She felt like she was repeating everything he was telling her, but she couldn’t help it; she felt as if she was in a strange twilight zone. “As in the Archangel Michael?”

  “Yes. Supposedly the right hand of God.”

  “Wow,” she breathed, trying to remember everything she had been taught in her religious education class, everything that had now been revealed to be a lie. “Of course I am.” She stood up, bouncing from one foot to the other, no longer able to just sit and listen. “Of course I'm someone important. I mean, I've heard all the stories about people finding out about their past lives and stuff. None of them are ever dull, boring people, are they? No one has ever come out of those things and said, “Oh, I was a hermit in my last life and I didn't leave my house,” did they?” Lilliah turned to him but didn't wait for an answer. "Oh, no. They all had amazing, exciting lives!" Lilliah stopped rambling for a second to look at Azrael. “So how old would that even make you?” She carefully sat down beside him once again.

  “Very old.” He smiled down at her. “You constantly surprise me. I think you’re about to do or say one thing, but you turn around and do the complete opposite.”

  “Is that a good thing?” Lilliah asked, suddenly very self-conscious.

  “When you’ve lived through what I’ve lived through, unpredictability is what you crave.”

  For a few seconds, neither of them spoke, and the charged energy sizzled around them. “And you’re right, you are someone important.”

  “Oh, God.” She shook her head adamantly. “None of this is real. It just can't be!”

  “It is real,” Azrael stressed. “Think about what you saw in your kitchen, think about what attacked you. How could that be possible if this wasn’t real?”

  “Oh, God. Oh, God.” Lilliah sat forward, her head in her hands. “Right.” Her head shot up. “So if I'm an angel, why am I not that old?” she challenged, on the verge of having a mental breakdown.

  “I’ll get to that bit,” he promised, moving back slightly, his movements casual. “The war had been going on for too long, with neither side winning. The chaos eventually spilled onto Earth.”

  “So were all the angels fighting on Earth fallen?” Lilliah interrupted, clearing her throat. Even as she didn’t believe the story, she couldn’t help but want to know more about the world he was describing.

  “No. You’re only fallen when Heaven is closed off to you. They call it ‘falling’ because that’s what it feels like. You could be standing on Earth’s solid ground and then suddenly feel as though you’re falling through the sky at a hundred miles an hour,” he explained softly, trying to give her a minute to put the pieces together.

  “I had a dream like that once.” She spoke the words almost to herself, her eyes widening. “Of me falling. It felt like I was on fire and . . .”

  “It was a memory,” he finished. “Most likely, anyway. The pain was your wings being burnt off,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Michael and Lucifer were in a battle, both equally matched, but then something unexpected happened. Michael injured Lucifer. Not a lot, but it was enough for him to get the upper hand. The archangels saw it as their chance to protect themselves. They knew they were outnumbered, so in their holy wisdom,” he added bitterly, “they decided it was better to just seal Heaven’s doors, locking out whomever wasn’t behind them.” He watched the realisation appear on Lilliah's face.

  “They just locked out everyone?” Lilliah asked, a small V forming between her brows. “Even the angels fighting with them?” The more Azrael told her, the more she wanted to know.

  “Yes.” He ran his hand through his tousled hair. “Everyone still in Heaven was safe, but the ones outside were cut off. They had to act quickly, while Lucifer was still weak. Of course they couldn’t have Lucifer and his armies roaming Earth. So from behind the safety of their walls, they created Hell to lock Lucifer and his followers away.”

  Lilliah tried to imagine the fight, but it all seemed so far away. Even the possibility of it being real seemed absurd.

  “I wasn’t. . .” she stopped, unable to believe she was actually going to say the words out loud. “I wasn’t in Heaven, was I? When they closed the gates?” she finished, trying to figure out what kind of man Michael was. “Did he know where I was?”

  “I don’t know,” Azrael told her honestly. “You see, this world wasn’t made
for us, for our kind of power. That’s why he gave you this,” he whispered, running his finger over her necklace.

  “My necklace?” she asked, staring down at the stone she had worn all her life.

  “Yes. It’s not just a necklace. You see, while Lucifer's army was locked in Hell, all the angels who fought with Michael were left to wander the Earth, and because this world wasn’t made for us, in time, it changed us. That’s what vampires and werewolves are. It’s what happens to a fallen angel that’s been cursed by Earth; it weakens them, making them slaves to the moon or to their thirst for human blood. Over time, they start to decay until one day, they turn into stone, into living statues,” he finished.

  “Turn to stone?” Lilliah repeated, horrified. She didn’t know why but this shocked her more than anything. It just sounded so brutal.

  “Yes, but only the original vampires and werewolves.” He chuckled at her expression. “Your world wasn’t built for something to last for eternity. All of the original fallen angels turned long ago. Unfortunately, these curses are contagious to humankind. That’s why there are more vampires and werewolves now. These vampires and werewolves won't turn to stone. They'll simply die. They'll get to live for a few hundred years or so, but eventually, their time will be up.” He stood and walked over to a nearby table to pick up a book.

  “So there are loads of vampire and werewolf statues somewhere?”

  “Yes. Both races believe that one day they'll be able to awaken their ancestors, the creators of their bloodlines. They keep their elders locked away, safe, waiting for the day when they can be awoken.”

  “Right,” she agreed. “It’s what I would have done if I was a vampire or werewolf.” Lilliah suddenly burst out laughing.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you laughing?” Azrael demanded.

  “I’m sorry.” Lilliah managed through giggles. “But I just heard myself talk.” She cut herself off again, her body shaking with silent laughter. “I was like, ‘Yeah, that’s what I’d have done if I was a werewolf.’” She smiled again. “This is madness. All of it.”

  “You need to listen to me.” Azrael turned to her. “This is real, whether you’re ready to accept it now or not. It’s real and it’s happening. All the ghost stories you were told when you were younger are real. You need to understand what I’m telling you. The people at your house, . . .” Lilliah’s eyes widened at the memory. “Do you remember how real the pain was when they hurt you? Or when they took your mother?” She nodded numbly. “Well, that is how real all of this is.”

  “Why me?” Lilliah’s eyes began to blur with tears, all her heightened emotions coming to a head. “Why is all of this happening to me? Why did I have to be dragged through this crap?”

  “As I said,” he murmured, his thumb gently stroking her arm, “You’re important.”

  “Okay.” She sat up straighter, wiping away her stray tears. “I’m going to try and get it. I mean, Mum’s not here, right?” She held her hands up in surrender. “So.” She took a deep breath. “Why haven’t you changed? Why weren’t you pulled into Hell?” She watched as he flicked through the pages of the book still in his hand, clearly looking for something specific.

  “Because of this,” he said, holding up the book in his hand and pointing to a picture of a ring, and then to the ring on his finger. “It’s called the Ring of Videtur. It stops Death from seeing me, I suppose.” He took a step back, slamming the book shut, his mouth set in a thin line. “I’m not explaining this right.” He breathed. “I knew Earth wasn’t made for us, and I also knew that during the war this ring was lost on Earth, along with many other relics. So the first thing I did was search for it.” She watched him look down at it. He ran his finger over the markings. “And, well, when Hell was created . . .” He stopped speaking for a moment, his eyes shooting up to look directly at her. “That’s another very long story for a different time.”

  “Okay, so my necklace protects me, just like your ring protects you?” Lilliah guessed, taking the book from him and flicking through some of the pages, her hands still shaking.

  “Yes and no.” He stepped closer so they could both look at the book in her hands. “It was Michael’s magic that protected you. He used his powers to have you reincarnated over and over again. It’s basically a loophole. What the necklace does is shield you from our kind. Whether that was Michael's intent, I don't know. My guess is that he wanted you to have a normal life. The power you have? The blood that runs through your veins? We can sense it. It's because it's pure—pure light from the source. Your necklace hides that.” His fingertip made light circles on her wrist. She didn't move to stop him, even though she knew she should have. “Although it doesn’t seem to be working now.”

  “Why not?” she breathed out.

  “This time around, you and your brother were born exactly nine months after a celebration called the Day of the Dead.”

  “Right.” She nodded her head as if she knew what he was talking about.

  “It happens every five hundred years, and on this particular day, Hell opens. Even for Michael, the spell would have been too great to lock Lucifer away forever, so he gets this one day out.”

  “So the Devil’s free for one day every five hundred years?” Her mouth opened slightly. “How can you guarantee he'll go back to Hell?”

  “The magic pulls him back in. He has no choice.”

  “Right.” She took in a deep, shaky breath. “But he gets out?”

  “Yes. It didn’t really matter before because it was never enough time for him to find you. He normally just causes mayhem. But this time, I think he did something different.”

  “Different?” she pressed. “Different how?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t speak for a second. “Why did you want to find me?”

  “You and I are the only angels left on Earth. Heaven is cut off from me. Why wouldn't I want to find you?” His whispered words sent shivers down her spine. Every nerve in her body was alive, and he wasn’t even touching her, but she wished he were. Even though she knew he was dangerous, she couldn't help how she felt.

  “It’s crazy. I could have walked past so many magical people without knowing. I could have met them and not realised!”

  “Our world is hidden from your world. There are spells in place to ensure humans can only see our world if they’re made aware of it. Like your friend Rebecca? She told me about the vampire that attacked you at your house. Well, you couldn't see him at first, but his attacking you made you aware that something was there, so the spell didn't work anymore.”

  “A spell?” Her mind began to race. “Right. Okay. So what about your club, Purgatory? Was that magical? How could I see that?”

  “I believe that's when your necklace first started to fail. I'd like to think that once the necklace’s magic disappeared, you could sense us like we could sense you. It's just a theory.” He added, “And in the club, you saw magical beings. The woman you spoke to, Dena—she’s a vampire.”

  “Oh.” Of course the stunning redhead was a vampire.

  “I think you've learned enough for one day,” he said, smiling politely and taking a step back, effectively putting some space between them. “Are you hungry?” Before she could answer he continued, “Come on. I’ll take you to the dining room. You need time to digest all of this.”

  “Wait,” she shouted after him. “I need to know more. My mum?” She questioned as he slowly turned around to face her, his features now hard. “What happened to her? Who took her? I need to know where she is.”

  “Vampires took her.”

  Lilliah felt as if he had physically hit her with his words. Vampires had her mother.

  “Vampires?” she shrieked, her breathing picking up. “Why? What do they want with my mum? What do they want with me?”

  “I don’t know.” His words didn’t ease her growing panic.

  “You don’t know?” she repeated, her voice getting higher. “First you show up, and
then vampires take my mother. Are you seriously telling me it’s not all related? That it's all some huge coincidence?” She raised her eyebrows sarcastically.

  “Yes,” he answered her seriously. “Benedict did a spell. A locator spell to try and find her. So far we’ve been unable to locate her. We know she’s alive, but right now, that’s all we know.”

  “Another spell?” she asked numbly, letting a nearby table take the weight off her shaky legs. All of it was just too much.

  “Yes. Benedict’s a warlock. A very good one at that. If anyone can locate your mother, it will be him.”

  “She could be anywhere. They could be hurting her. She wouldn’t understand any of this. I don't understand any of this!” Lilliah could feel the tears gathering in her eyes and the lump start to form in her throat. But she refused to cry in front of him. “You need to try harder. Tell me where to start looking and I’ll go.” She was almost shouting when she’d finished.

  “They would have no motive for hurting your mother,” he told her, his voice calm and controlled as he once again ran his hands through his hair. “Sebastian mentioned her being in an almost dream-like state. Like she was almost asleep but could move and walk. It sounds like a spell. There is a possibility she could still be in that state, which could be the reason we can’t locate her. If so, then she wouldn’t know what’s happening around her.”

  “I need to get her back. Please.” Lilliah breathed in deep, trying to get her emotions under control.

  “I swear,” Azrael promised, taking a small step towards her. “I swear I will get her back to you.” His hands were fisted at his sides as if he were fighting with himself. She watched him turn on his heels and stalk out of the room, leaving her alone. So much for dinner, Lilliah thought, watching him leave.

  “Hey, Lil?” Rebecca asked a moment later, hesitantly standing in the door way. “How’d it go?”